Skip to main content

Created and Sold by visceral home

(See 2 Reviews)
visceral home
masking femininity | Mixed Media in Paintings by visceral home
Trade Member Offer Available
Customize this piece
masking femininity | Mixed Media in Paintings by visceral home
masking femininity | Mixed Media in Paintings by visceral home
masking femininity | Mixed Media in Paintings by visceral home
masking femininity | Mixed Media in Paintings by visceral home
masking femininity | Mixed Media in Paintings by visceral home
masking femininity | Mixed Media in Paintings by visceral home

masking femininity - Paintings

Price $1,500 - Sale 25% off

Price $2,000 Original Retail

Upcycled Product

Made in USA

Made to order

Natural Materials

Locally Sourced

32 x 26 x 3 handmade canvas + espresso stained sugar pine wood frame. plaster + oil + sand + concrete + coffee grounds + ink + powdered/ground rose quartz + powdered rust.

This painting centered me today- allowing me to focus enough to realize I was starting to slip into an old way of thinking that doesn’t serve me anymore. Which made me start reflecting on my gratitude for my partner- gazing at him from the other room while he builds a canvas for me.

I am about to share something I’m embarrassed about- I only do so with the hope that someone else has felt this way and can gather some hope from my story.

Being in a relationship with someone with cPTSD can be challenging, exhausting, and confusing. It leaves me feeling sorry for my partner having to deal with my mental health issues, and I would never let my walls down enough to let anyone completely in. I lacked knowledge on how to communicate my needs/lack of boundaries/extreme fear of the unknown. I felt like a burden, and most days still do, manifesting in extreme people pleasing behaviors that set me up for devastation. All of which made me grow self hatred for myself that I didn’t think i would/could ever work through. in 12 step programs one of the biggest suggestions is to not get in a relationship the first year of sobriety. when I got sober for 3 years before this last relapse I remained single and thought of my healing in romantic relationships as “complete”.

I met connor and knew he was my person. I immediately felt safe, loved, secure, hopeful, and excited for the future. I’ve never felt love and connection in the way I do with this human. The more we got to know each other, the more vulnerable I allowed myself to be, and as my walls started coming down I froze. The fear of “when will this end” and “this isn’t real” crept into every minute of every day. It was crippling and still can be. I’ve never had a partner show me with his actions what love and trust and partnership should look like. He has. He has shown me love in ways that I haven’t experienced before. I used to talk about/day dream about this fictional being I haven’t met yet to my best friend and she would reassure me that no one else can fix me. It’s true. I wasn’t waiting for someone to fix me, I thought that if I was loved in the way I deserved to be, the intrusive thoughts revolving men would go away.

From multiple traumas, I grew a hatred for men that was unfair for the men I’ve never known. There are humans out there that can love every part of you, and treat you with the love you deserve. Never settle for less than you deserve. Even if you don’t believe you do just yet. The most mind blowing retaliation for me has been, my fear is at an all time high in the first healthy relationship I’ve ever been in. Which has brought about healing parts of myself that have been untouched and brewing a storm I didn’t know about. I have said to him many times this isn’t your responsibility, and it isn’t fair for him to clean up a mess he didn’t make.

Relationships are messy sometimes. Love is compromise. Love is healing. Love is hard sometimes.

I’ve been in domestically violent, mentally and physically abusive relationships in which I now know the difference between “love is hard” and “it’s hard to love you”.

I remember seeing a quote saying “love shouldn’t be that hard”. Which made me question this loving relationship I am in to be something not right. I imagined a healthy relationship to be a movie, because I’ve never been shown what it should look/feel like.

but my partner said something to me that I have never had anyone say to me before. In past relationships my anxious thoughts have been met with anger, frustration, name calling, and large arguments making me retreat back from being vulnerable at all.

I was going on and on about the “what if’s” and “when is this going to end”. my brains corrupt way of trying to keep me safe has always been to lie to me that all good things are too good to be true. fear is writing that script in my head. but even in the knowing of that fact there’s moments of such deep discomfort in letting go of control that i start believing those lies circling around my mind. *I’m not good enough to deserve honest, loyal, true love* those core beliefs are so deeply in bedded in my subconscious that any affirming ounce of evidence to prove it to be true becomes screaming anxious thoughts, pushing all factual evidence away. my partner said “but what if that isn’t true?”. When my brain starts jumping to conclusions believing the worst case scenario, he pointed out: what if you fought that thought with the same amount of power saying “what if that isn’t true”.

Promo codes may not be applicable on this item.

Returns accepted within 7 days. See Creator Policy
Trade Members enjoy Free returns within 30 days regardless of the Creator's return policy. Learn more

Item masking femininity
Created by visceral home
As seen in Creator's Studio, Charleston, SC
Have more questions about this item?
visceral home
Meet the Creator
Wescover creator since 2022
handcrafted paintings blurring the lines between art, poetry, and sculpture.

Visceral home is a husband and wife team who work together to create viscerally evoking art by hand. Connor Robinson builds each canvas that his wife Taylor Robinson (Redler) unfolds her artistic vision upon. Connor finishes each project by housing the painting in a hand crafted frame using a wide variety of wood species and woodworking techniques to best honor the work.

Inspired by their personal healing journey, they artistically transmute trauma into art intended for therapeutic release/relief for your space. Taylor is most influenced to paint using earth tones, and minerals found in nature, highlighting the natural healing beauty of the color palettes found outdoors. Using art to provoke conversation they have a mission to illustrate vulnerability, aiming to cultivate positive change in the stigma revolving mental health. Taylor and Connor Robinson use a variety of natural and unnatural materials to story-tell within their works; pairing plaster with rock pigment, wood with hand-spun yarn, healing crystals with oil, rust and stone+sand with concrete. They are consistently expanding and evolving their technique, process, style, and concepts. Each piece is entirely their own meaningful entity, paired with a biography putting their creative concepts into words.

With a deep love of interior design and architecture, they find themselves constantly inspired by conceptual spaces that merge together raw, textured, nature influenced organic concepts with accents that outlast fast design trends in this new social media era. They often consider industrial modernism and organic soft scandinavian + asian influences while planning art projects.

Despite the many directions their creative innovations may go, they try to stay focused in their mission of illustrating euphemisms conveyed through their textural work. Keeping in mind the spaces their art lands will continue to morph into new personalities, they focus on creating art that can be everlasting through many design changes.