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visceral home
dissociation | Paintings by visceral home
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dissociation | Paintings by visceral home
dissociation | Paintings by visceral home
dissociation | Paintings by visceral home
dissociation | Paintings by visceral home
dissociation | Paintings by visceral home
+19
dissociation | Paintings by visceral home

dissociation - Paintings

Price $2,100

27 x 50 x 3 1/5. Canvas housed in a hand crafted walnut wood frame. plaster + ink + oil + concrete + sand + acrylic + pearl mika + ground crystal quartz.
One of the hardest parts of healing has been reflecting on the years of disconnection and dissociation that were mistaken for recovery. The further I pushed back the memories in my body/mind, the more delusional I became. I confused avoidance with progressive healing. I kept putting off the work and enabled unhealthy toxic core beliefs that were deeply embedded into my subconscious, ruling all my behaviors and reactions. The unhealthy coping methods that developed were destructive behaviors like pushing people away, people pleasing, isolation, overworking, unhealthy compulsive self-soothing gratifications, numbing with substances, eating disorders, fear of abandonment, and self-sabotage. I reacted out of fear of being hurt, fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of vulnerability, fear of being loved, and the greatest fear of never feeling “normal.”

If you have struggled with dissociation, it is not hard to explain feeling disconnected from your own skin and body. How do you explain to someone who has never felt the terrifying sensation of feeling your heartbeat again after hours of feeling separated from yourself. Questioning if you are real, or if this has happened before. Like Deja vu. I unconsciously spent decades in a dissociated state, even while sober, avoiding the truth and the reality that my healing had not even begun yet.

My healing warrants me to welcome discomfort. I spent countless hours working with different therapists, specialists, advocates, sponsors, spiritual leaders, and anyone who knew anything about cPTSD. I was eager to figure out how to grab hold of myself when I started to slip away into the land of avoidance. To be completely honest, the only way I started to profoundly change my behaviors was after reflecting on the immense pain of how exhausted I was from living in the same cycle of avoidance, dissociation, and shifting to complete panic.

After years of work, I now walk into the uncomfortable unknown and admit when I am not in a good place. I promise you that the discomfort of facing reality is easier than stuffing it in a box to save for later. I wish I opened those boxes earlier. I recently went through a dark period of depression and regret a few months into meeting my partner wishing I did the healing I needed to prior to meeting him. I have had to decide to trust universal timing. When I reflect on the deep vulnerable conversations with my partner about my trauma, hearing the words release from my body made me more self-aware than if I never had those conversations. In choosing to trust the universe, I bask in the gratitude that I am on a path of self-discovery that was meant to be postponed until I can handle it. I finally find gratitude in healing with my partner by my side, it has helped me learn firsthand how to trust men again.

The structured cities in this painting represent the boxes I stuffed each area of trauma in, unleashing each one by one as I float in my body's center (represented by the white blurry path between each separate detailed patch). Aiming to keep myself just dis-attached enough to stay anchored in my body, while processing each area utilizing new healthy coping skills. I want my painting “dissociation” to provide a visual appreciation of the complexity of rewiring the nervous system after trauma.

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Item dissociation
Created by visceral home
As seen in Creator's Studio, Charleston, SC
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visceral home
Meet the Creator
Wescover creator since 2022
handcrafted paintings blurring the lines between art, poetry, and sculpture.

Visceral home is a husband and wife team who work together to create viscerally evoking art by hand. Connor Robinson builds each canvas that his wife Taylor Robinson (Redler) unfolds her artistic vision upon. Connor finishes each project by housing the painting in a hand crafted frame using a wide variety of wood species and woodworking techniques to best honor the work.

Inspired by their personal healing journey, they artistically transmute trauma into art intended for therapeutic release/relief for your space. Taylor is most influenced to paint using earth tones, and minerals found in nature, highlighting the natural healing beauty of the color palettes found outdoors. Using art to provoke conversation they have a mission to illustrate vulnerability, aiming to cultivate positive change in the stigma revolving mental health. Taylor and Connor Robinson use a variety of natural and unnatural materials to story-tell within their works; pairing plaster with rock pigment, wood with hand-spun yarn, healing crystals with oil, rust and stone+sand with concrete. They are consistently expanding and evolving their technique, process, style, and concepts. Each piece is entirely their own meaningful entity, paired with a biography putting their creative concepts into words.

With a deep love of interior design and architecture, they find themselves constantly inspired by conceptual spaces that merge together raw, textured, nature influenced organic concepts with accents that outlast fast design trends in this new social media era. They often consider industrial modernism and organic soft scandinavian + asian influences while planning art projects.

Despite the many directions their creative innovations may go, they try to stay focused in their mission of illustrating euphemisms conveyed through their textural work. Keeping in mind the spaces their art lands will continue to morph into new personalities, they focus on creating art that can be everlasting through many design changes.